MLP: Divergent Days Ch. 12

Chapter 12


Applejack took her time in returning to the farm. She had no reason to rush, since she was confident that her brother would be able to handle the stand himself; he was responsible enough -- maybe even more responsible than she herself was. The other factor that kept her slowed down was the weight she was carrying on her back, plus the ice's excruciating cold. It raised goosebumps all along her legs, both fore and hind. Even so, Applejack pressed on, not allowing any of these factors to discourage her from her goal.

She sighed. It seemed like she was always fighting an ongoing test of both her mental and physical strength. Being as stubborn as she was was both a blessing and a curse. Though the weight of the two items, even together, could hardly compare to the apple carts she pulled on a regular basis, the weight of said cart would normally be distributed on the harness strapped to her back, rather than actually on her back. To fix any balance issues, her lasso had been tightly tied around her, strapping the ice and the radiator to her back -- Twilight's idea -- but it wasn't a perfect solution either; having the lasso tied as tightly as it was only made the radiator seem heavier and the cold more severe.

Seemingly ages later, just when the pressure was getting to be a bit too much and her legs were quaking slightly, the Sweet Apple Acres farm loomed over the horizon. The barn seemed as majestic as it was relieving, despite its aged appearance. She trotted towards the barn, looking forward to catching a break before returning to less strenuous tasks. She wasn't normally the type to admit her vulnerabilities, but she had to admit -- and only to herself -- that she may have just bitten off a bit more than she could chew carrying Kurt's supplies. Pressing her ear to the door, she listened for the sounds of Kurt's laboring; she didn't want to startle him if he were busy. She knew nothing about vehicles -- at least, not the metal ones Kurt liked -- but they looked really complex; if she managed to mess things up badly for him because she distracted him, well, she wasn't looking forward to seeing how mad Kurt could get.

Hearing nothing loud, she took the door handle in her teeth and nevertheless opened the door with caution. Partway through the doorway, she checked for Kurt again.

"Hey, uh, Kurt. Ya in here?" Applejack called, her echo carrying throughout the large barn despite hardly yelling as she stepped through the doorway. Seeing the Blazer, but no Kurt, she stepped towards it.

There was a loud slam as the Blazer rocked; the sudden noise caused Applejack to jump and start to back away slowly, but soon Kurt peeked his head around from the front, wiping his hands with a rag.

"Oh, hey Applejack." Kurt said with a little cheer in his voice as he stepped towards the farm pony. Kurt gave a start as he noticed the items he had requested strapped to her back; he had been expecting Twilight to bring them. He was about to ask Applejack where Twilight was, when she spoke first.

"Kurt... ya mind?" asked Applejack. Seeing her trembling legs and pained expression snapped him back to attention.

"Ah, sorry. Hold on, let me get those off your back," Kurt answered, rushing forward to ease her stress. Kurt laughed to himself mentally, catching his own joke only after he the words had already passed his lips.

Taking the ice and radiator in each hand, he was careful not to drop either on the ground or on the small pony. The radiator was incredibly heavy -- even more than Kurt had imagined -- and he immediately set it next to his Blazer with a strained grunt of effort.

"Wow, she's a tough pony. How far did she have to carry that, exactly?" Kurt thought, before clearing his throat to speak, "Hey, thanks for bringing these, but what happened to Twilight?"

"Uh, she had some other things ta take care of."

"Alright, that's cool. Thanks again, by the way," Kurt answered. She could only nod in response, too tired to do much else. She watched as Kurt walked to the back of his Blazer and opened the rear window, then slamming the tailgate open. He pulled from inside his Blazer a blue and white cooler, battered and dirty; years of Kurt's erratic driving had exposed it to more than a little abuse. He removed the lid and broke open the ice bag, pouring the ice into the cooler; the entire time, the human wore a triumphant smile as he looked into the storage container. Whatever was in there made the human happy from the look of it.

Applejack thought it would've helped to have all that weight removed from her back, and it certainly did feel better, but her legs wouldn't stop trembling, as though she were liable to collapse at any moment. Kurt took notice of this, and his look of concern returned.

"You should take a breather, you know. I'm sure lugging these wasn't that easy for a small pony like yourself."

"Well 'scuse me! But ah can take care of myself. Jus' cause ah be smaller than ya'll don't mean ah ain't as strong." Applejack inwardly felt both amused and offended, an odd mix. She could feel tired -- even show it -- but she never gave in if she could help it, and she wasn't about to do it for some human, either.

Kurt let out a small chuckle, "Ok, if you say so."

Applejack huffed, taking Kurt's tone as a challenge, "Ok, Mr. Thinks-he-be-stronger-than-us-pony-folk... ah challenge ya to a hoof wrassle! Right now!"

Kurt smirked at her perseverance; she clearly wasn't up to anything that required more effort than opening a door, if her drooping eyes and panting were any indication, yet she still carried that facade that let her pretend she could hoist an elephant on her back with no trouble. It reminded him briefly of the times he had found himself low on money and food, yet still remained stubborn, but even he hadn't been foolish enough to do more than he could handle.

In fact, he hadn't seen that level of determination in anyone. Not since...

Amanda...

Kurt put those troubling thoughts away as he assessed the farm pony's situation. She was in no shape to be doing anything like that; not yet anyway.

"Alright, alright. I believe you," Kurt answered, putting his hands up, sounding as non-confrontational as he could, "we don't have to hoof wrastle. I'm just saying you need to take a breather for a few minutes, that's all."

Applejack huffed once more as she marched herself over to a hay pile to rest her shaky legs. A very small, very repressed part of her knew full well that she couldn't have taken him even if she were at full strength, but her sense of pride -- a much larger sense -- refused to let her take it in stride.

"Fine, but ah'm a-holdin' ya to tha challenge!"

Kurt let out another chuckle, sardonically rolling his eyes at her little masquerade, "It's a date then."

Kurt paused a minute from his own statement, and looked over to the pony, his weirded look perhaps exceeded only by her own.

"Er, you know what I mean," Kurt quickly added, looking sheepish.

Quickly looking away from the pony, Kurt quickly replaced the cooler back inside his Blazer, and then closed the back. Applejack watched Kurt as he scrambled to get himself working again; his clumsy motions were an obvious clue that he was a little flustered himself. The orange mare let out a deep breath. The rest she was taking was really nice, and she didn't feel thrilled about continuing her daily chores. That walk wore her out, after all, and her aching body felt like it was in heaven even on the rough hay. Her eyelids felt heavy, and as they started to droop shut...

"Hard day?" Kurt suddenly asked, bringing her to attention. He stepped back in front of his Blazer, holding the new radiator up to it to make sure it would line up.

Applejack sighed; she wasn't fond of the idea of calling today, or anything else, difficult, but she didn't have the energy to do anything but go along with it, "Jus' a lot of sellin' be all. Good fer tha farm, so good fer me," Applejack said, using her hooves to set her hat to her side.

Kurt adjusted his own hat, then set down the new radiator. He scrounged the junked parts pile for the original radiator, in need of parts from it, "Well, that's what we get for working for ourselves, am I right?"

Applejack perked her ears up, realizing that Kurt was making small talk with her for once, something Twilight would be glad to hear about later. And while she was at it, she was kind of curious about the human, not having ever seen one nor the place they came from before, "Ya know, ya never told us what ya did back on yer planet. Work, ah mean."

"Oh, nothing really amazing," Kurt said, finally finding the old, mangled radiator, "I work on other cars, much like my Blazer here."

The earth pony cocked her head in curiosity, "Were it a good business?"

"Well...yes and no," Kurt answered, sounding undecided, "Depended on what kind of cars I worked on. Newer ones were meh, but some of my clients needed help with classical cars. That's where the real money was."

"So them 'classical' ones be more money?"

"Yes, in a sense. More valuable all around. So, how about your farm? I'm guessing apples are a booming industry here, right?"

Applejack let out a quick chuckle; her own sense of pride was only outmatched by her pride for the family business, "They be that, a'right. Everypony loves apples, 'n Sweet Apple Acres' apples are tha best 'round."

"I know," Kurt recalled, "I've had some."

She wasn't sure if her exhausted body showed it, but their conversation was really uplifting. She was glad to see that the human was showing a real improvement in his attitude from before; being in the family business taught her quickly that complaining never got anyone anywhere, but it was still rare that anypony actually heeded that advice. Kurt, on the other hand... he was starting to more closely resemble Pinkie Pie's upbeat demeanor than the rude jerk he had been when he had first arrived.

Applejack let out another small chuckle, wracking her brain for additional topics they could talk about, "So, that Amanda? She yer girl back home?"

Kurt froze, and Applejack knew immediately she had said the wrong thing.

His hands began to tremble slightly from the mention of her name. It wasn't so bad when he himself said or thought about her, because he could fight his own thoughts off. But he could hardly handle anyone else mentioning her name. Swallowing hard, the old memories and thoughts flooded his mind. Ugh... He knew he had screwed up majorly the second he said her name, but he had also been hoping against hope that ponies didn't have the same sense of curiosity humans did, and that they wouldn't press the issue.

Guess not.

"Uh, I'd rather not talk about it," he said, any previous enthusiasm eschewed from his tone.

Applejack could spot Kurt's change in attitude a mile away. She was fully aware that Kurt had wanted to drop the topic the other night, but figured he was possibly just embarrassed for calling her by his girl's name. She knew he was slightly confused from Rarity knocking him out, and didn't want the human to continue to feel awkward around her.

"Ya know Kurt, if yer jus' embarrassed an' all 'bout callin' me her name, it's a'right. Ya were jus' a little out of it, 'n ah understand if ya mistook me for her at tha time. Heh, I've had that happen a lil' more than ah'd like to be honest. At least ya didn't try ta kiss me."

Applejack let out another playful chuckle, one that gradually died out once she saw that Kurt remained still. The farm pony had expected Kurt to turn around, laugh a little himself, and everything to be fine. What she got instead, was Kurt standing motionless.

"Are ya a'right Kurt? Ya seem-"

Without warning, Kurt had slammed the wrench he was holding onto the table, causing the rest of the tools to clatter where they lay. The sound was both incredibly loud and sudden, echoing throughout the barn and into Applejack's perked ears. Though he didn't turn towards her, Applejack saw, from his shuddering body and shaking shoulders, that Kurt was clearly hurting.

"I'm... fine Applejack," Kurt's tone was robotic and forced, very unlike the conversational tone he had carried just seconds before, "Could... could you please just drop it, ok?"

Kurt's words didn't have any malice in them; there wasn't any hate, or even worry. Just pained, like he was fighting back tears. Applejack was slowly putting the pieces together in her mind. He wasn't embarrassed; in fact, it was quite the opposite. He acted like he was trying to not think of the name. Something about her or the mention of her name sent Kurt into a state of sorrow. Or it could be guilt. Or even depression. They all seemed similar, and expression reading was never her strong suit. How he had tried to drop the discussion the night before was evident that he was trying to forget the name, which had at the time gone right over the farm pony's head.

Kurt finally turned to the pony and could tell he had gone slightly overboard in his reaction; how Applejack had reared her head back from his motions told Kurt he startled the mare. Kurt sighed as he rubbed his temple, then closed his eyes to relax.

"Don't blame her; she didn't know...don't blame her; she didn't know..." Kurt thought.

"I'm... sorry Applejack," he said, after what felt like an endless pause, "It's just..." Kurt's mind reeled itself in trying to figure out what to say. His instincts screamed at him to shout at her, to yell and scream and rant in her face, to watch her shrink back in fear until she learned her lesson and never mentioned her name again, but he couldn't blame her. If anything, he blamed himself. Not just that, but he blamed himself for making other people feel sorry for him. He blamed himself for luring well-intentioned people in to pity and show him sympathy, only to turn away from them and cause them to believe they had done something wrong. It was a horrible feeling, but one Kurt was far more familiar with than anyone had a right to be.

"I..." he continued.

And now it was happening again. Not on Earth, but on some place called Equestria. Not to a human, but to a pony. A talking pony. For a brief time, Kurt had considered -- even hoped -- that things would be different here, that if he did bring up Amanda's name, he wouldn't have to worry about having anyone feel curious enough to want answers. And instead, he found himself with a pony, and probably the most persistent of the bunch.

"I just..." he answered again.

Kurt needed to be alone. Glad as he was before to have company, he now felt that desire for isolation once again. And it wasn't just a feeling for himself, either. The last thing he wanted was his emotions to take control of him; last time, his poor Blazer suffered the consequences. Sure, he wasn't the nicest guy ever, but he hardly wanted to hurt anything. These ponies...they were just like humans. They talked like humans, did work like humans, and surely, they felt pain like humans.

Kurt sighed, frustrated that he couldn't scrounge up a decent explanation.

"...look, I'd really appreciate it if I could just have some quiet while I work is all, so that I can get some work done," Kurt's words were calm, albeit in a very forced way, and his posture was still clearly defensive.

"Well, ah'm jus' tryin' ta show me 'n mah friends are here for ya Kurt. Ya know, if ya ever wanna talk 'bout somethin'."

Kurt took a deep breath, trying to settle down, "Look, I know what you're trying to do. Twilight tried the same thing. I know you ponies mean well, but I just don't need any help. Ok?" he said, tacking on perhaps the most unconvincing smile ever performed.

Applejack, of course, saw right through it, knowing exactly the feelings he was hiding. He sounded just like she did during last year's big apple harvest, where she tried to harvest the enormous orchard on her own. It was the worst week of her life, damaging not only her, but others as well. So maybe that was what Kurt was facing right now; only, his dilemma was a mental one, not a physical one like hers was. It had taken a lot of convincing and mental prodding from Twilight to get her to admit that she needed help. But when she finally had, Twilight, her brother, and all of her friends were only too happy to help. Kurt, whether he had a choice in the matter or not, felt alone when he truly wasn't, and it suddenly dawned on her what she had to do to help.

Applejack stood back up, replaced her hat onto her head, and walked over to the human who had returned to his work, noting in the process that she felt quite a bit more rested. She stood behind him for a few seconds, trying to think of the right words to say before she returned to town.

"Well, ah'm off ta town again Kurt. If ya decide ya want any help or somepony to talk to, me or Macintosh will be around. We're yer friends here, 'n we're willin' ta help!"

Kurt stopped moving and only gave tiny nods in response, as Applejack turned around and began to walk out, "'Ave a good one Kurt! Good luck with tha radiator!"

Applejack left the barn with a satisfied smile on her face, glad she had done the right thing. If she continued to let Kurt know that she and the others were there for him, and that they were his friends, then maybe he could settle down and relax. Just as it took her a while for her pride to give in, so too would Kurt need some convincing. She saw for herself how happy Kurt could be when whatever bothered him about this Amanda girl wasn't on his mind, and she and her friends would see to it that he would finally be free of whatever bad feelings he held deep inside. They could certainly do that much, at least.

When she thought about it, the conversation between her and Kurt really hadn't gone too far, yet so many steps had been taken. She didn't know the specifics, but she knew that whatever this Amanda was to Kurt, it was hurting him inside, and she knew that getting him help was just a matter of waiting for him to trust them enough to open up. Easier said than done, but what wasn't?

She felt a strong desire to go visit one of her friends, anypony who could help her help Kurt. But first came the rest of the farm work. Big Mac would eventually be back from the market, after all, and she didn't think he could hold down the entire farm by himself. And then little Applebloom...who knew what she and the rest of those Cutie Mark Crusaders could be getting themselves into right now?

She smiled to herself, despite the potential workload staring her in the face. The next few days would certainly be interesting...

----------

Kurt sat down in front of his Blazer; the hardened dirt floor felt horrible on his rump, but at the moment it hardly bothered him. He leaned his head back, resting it on the exposed, dirty engine block, not caring about the grime surely being left on his hat. The cold metal of the engine block sort of helped to sooth the pounding of his head, but it wouldn't be enough. It was never enough; all he could ever do was just dull the pain. Never get rid of it, just find some way to hide it until it manages to resurface once more. The pony's words... no, word to the human caused his stomach, and his world, to turn upside down.

Applejack used the word "friends" to describe herself and the others. Friends. As much as Kurt longed for the word and the feeling of knowing that someone out there cared about him, he couldn't do it. He couldn't allow it. Not after what he had done. He would never be able to put his past behind him, it would always haunt him. The only way to help keep his heartache down was to just be alone; a realization he came to years ago and accepted.

He would always be alone, the way he felt it should be.

It's not that he didn't want friends. It was just that he knew he didn't deserve them.

There was no denying this decision. It was so firmly rooted in his mind that he lived by it. Never to befriend or love anyone ever again was what Kurt thought he must do; the only way he could redeem himself for his youthful sins. Even if he could open himself up to another person again, Kurt knew if he couldn't look beyond his own flaws or let his past go, then neither could anyone else. He was sure of that. He didn't want anyone else to even try. There was no reason in even allowing such things to happen.

Kurt closed his eyes, trying to let the thoughts dispel and rid his mind of their sorrow. He wished Applejack and the other ponies would just drop the case, leave him be, and quit fussing over his problems. They are his problems, so they don't need to be pushing themselves closer to make him feel better. They had no reason to want to be friends with him. That very word, "friendship", struck such a negative connotation with Kurt that he literally felt physical pain in his heart.

At one time, he believed in the phrase, "Time heals all wounds." But all time had done was tell him that he could never let go. He remembered countless movies growing up; how the characters would be guilty over something and eventually come to terms with the guilt, and become happy once more. But those were the movies. And because of that, Kurt's guilt was different. When it surfaced -- and it always found a way to -- it ate away at him until he felt nothing else. It wasn't anything that characters in a movie could feel, or even pretend to. Kurt had long since given up trying to deal with it. He had, "made his bed, and now lay in it," or whatever that phrase was.

Kurt glanced towards his Blazer once more, trying to find comfort in his source of pride. Perhaps that was the reason he was so focused on automobiles. Around his Blazer, he could mention the name Amanda every so often, and the Blazer would never wonder who she was, or wonder why Kurt felt guilty, or do anything to try and make him spill the beans. His skills as a mechanic started out as a simple job, but later turned into his profession and helped keep his mind off of his past. It was just another numbing agent to dull the pain, much like most of his life's story.

The barn was hauntingly silent, but in Kurt's mind, he heard laughter. The laughter and joy from years past, when he and Amanda played and could enjoy each other's company. He could picture it in his mind as though he were staring at a photo of it. The memories were so vivid...

Kurt's feet stumbled as he missed his step, sending dust clouds into the air as he crashed to the ground. Though the soft dirt cushioned his fall, leaving him unharmed, he felt dizzy from the tumble nonetheless. A hand reached down, gentle in its intentions; he knew before looking at the person that it was Amanda's. Guilt churned within him at the very sight of her, and knew that her merely holding her hand towards him was more attention than he ever deserved from her. As he took hold, and she pulled him to his feet, he tried to smile in appreciation, but she didn't smile back. Inwardly, he knew the exact reason, and it was that reason that he had suddenly wished that Amanda would let go, and that he fall back down and lay there forever...

"Ya a'right, Kurt?" a male voice asked.

Kurt growled quietly. Being jarred out of his own thoughts was one thing, but being interrupted by a question he was getting downright sick of was another. He could hardly stand it; every time one of those ponies saw him, it was always the same...'You alright?'...'You alright?'...'You alright?' He didn't understand it. Was it because these ponies were essentially his opposite? That they wanted nothing more than to be friends, while he wanted nothing less?

"Kurt?"

Kurt had originally expected Applejack, but the male voice was a definite "no" as he was greeted by her brother instead. Macintosh looked at the human sitting on the bare ground and leaning against a large hunk of metal inside the front end of the vehicle. He observed how he sat in a slumped position, eyes closed, and clearly miserable, whatever the human said.

Mac felt he must have walked in at a bad time as the human seemed to be sulking in either self pity or sorrow, but Mac's caring, gentle nature got the better of him as the question escaped his lips anyway. Finally, after a few quiet seconds, Kurt responded.

"Yea, sure," Kurt lied, keeping his eyes closed and looking upwards.

Kurt's tone was far from the one Mac had heard last night. The voice that had helped Macintosh break the doubt and fear in his own mind needed some help of its own. Mac always thought of himself as a good listener, and imagined that other ponies felt the same way; he would listen -- he actually enjoyed listening -- and never said more than he felt he had to.

Then again, this human was different. Everypony he had ever talked to had been more than willing to discuss their problems, that was just the way ponies on Equestria were. Kurt, though, didn't seem to want to do anything with talking. In general, he was a mystery to Mac; he was a different species from a different planet that probably did everything different than the ways he was used to. But, Mac knew enough to know that if Kurt were to talk, that he'd be happier for it. And he knew enough to know that everyone -- pony or human -- wants to be happy. If that meant Mac had to be the talker, so be it.

"Don't sound like yer fine," Macintosh said, sitting down near Kurt.

Kurt shifted slightly to allow the large pony some room, but otherwise kept his posture, letting out another disheartening sigh.

"Mac, I'm fine. So don't worry about me, ok?"

"Well, why shouldn't ah worry 'bout ya? Ah don't much like seein' other folks hurtin' be all, 'n neither does mah sister or her friends. They're jus' tryin' ta show ya some compassion. Ya know, we're jus' tryin' ta help ya, Kurt," Mac continued.

"I don't need anyone's help, ok? I'm fine on my own, I always have been."

"Yer a bad liar, ya know that?"

Kurt, through all the pain he was suffering through at the moment, allowed a small laugh to erupt through his lips.

"I've been told that numerous times."

Macintosh sat, not saying a word in response. The fake smile, the heartless laugh, all were obviously stemming from some sort of guilt that Kurt hung on to. Mac decided to just give in for now, and allow Kurt to win this round. He was tired from the long day of standing, and from the amount of debrief laying on the ground could tell Kurt was tired too. Pestering Kurt now would likely make things worse. So, to quicken things up, Mac decided to get to the original reason for his visit.

Macintosh cleared his throat, then spoke, "Anyway Kurt, tha reason ah'm here be ah never got a chance ta thank ya fer convincin' me ta take that chance last night."

Kurt stopped, and turned around to focus on the stallion. He hadn't noticed it before, but Mac looked to be in a pleasant mood. Mac never looked sad or downtrodden in any way since Kurt had met him, but he never looked to feel towards any sort of emotion, really. Just a blank slate for a face. Yet now he looked honestly, truly ecstatic, and his appearance -- not just his face -- reflected it. His golden mane and tail were well groomed for the first time Kurt had seen, and he even swore he smelt some sort of cologne emulating from the pony. But then, Kurt saw something on Mac's left cheek. Very faint to see on his red coat, but still noticeable if you looked hard enough, was two pink lip marks.

Kurt ordinarily would've maintained his somber, foul expression, but in spite of himself felt a smile come upon his face. Standing, using the Blazer as support, he smirked towards the large pony, "Oh, I can tell it went real well for you."

Macintosh's expression grew inquisitive, trying to figure out what the human meant. Kurt leaned over to the Blazer, grabbed a slightly dirtied red cloth rag, and tossed it to the red stallion.

"Left cheek, you got a little something there," Kurt said, rubbing his own cheek, winking as he continued to smile.

Mac caught the rag on a hoof and immediately scrambled to wipe the mark off his face. He knew what it was, which meant he had walked through half of Ponyville with the mark on his face. If his sister had seen it, he'd never hear the end of it; luckily for him, she hadn't returned before he sold out at the market and returned to the farm. Macintosh returned his attention back to the human, whose brief smile slowly receded as Kurt returned to working on his Blazer.

"Well, like ah said, thank ya Kurt," Mac said, attempting to clear the awkwardness out of the barn, "Yer words were very thoughtful, 'n ah appreciate that help."

"Well, we all need a little boot in the ass every so often," Kurt chuckled.

Before Macintosh could continue to talk, he heard a small filly's voice calling his name.

"Big Mac? Ya home?" Applebloom's voice rang.

Kurt turned around, facing the stallion once more, "Looks like your little sister is needing you. Best get out there then."

Macintosh looked to the barn door, and back to Kurt with a nod. Keeping to his usual slow pace, the large stallion marched his way out of the barn, leaving Kurt to his work. As the barn door latched shut, Kurt let out a large sigh of relief. This day was already turning out to be nerve racking for the human, as he'd already talked to three of the ponies.

Kurt thought more about what Applejack had told him; that she and the others were his friends. Kurt looked off into space, his eyes seeming to wander as the word bounced around in his mind. It had been so long since he'd been around so many people like this; usually, most others were content to just ignore him. Granted, these weren't people, but the only real difference seemed to be their physical appearance. Three days was all it had taken, and they were already considering him their friend. If Kurt had been any normal person, that would have been a good thing to hear. For him, it only brought upon more mental anguish and pain in his heart.

Finally, after a few quiet minutes in thought, he resumed his work. He needed to keep himself occupied and keep his mind focused on other things, so that the nightmares would leave him alone. Never for long, but he would take any opportunity he could to not have to think about those thoughts.

----------

Twilight felt relieved that Applejack had taken Kurt's items back to him, versus her return. The guy was such a odd ball; how he acted when he showed up put her and her friends off. He was rude and very vulgar with his language. Those two traits still existed, but Kurt's general mental state had the purple mare's mind in a bind.

Twilight let out another sigh as her library came into view. Her dragon assistant, Spike, ran ahead of her to unlock the door for her arrival. She smiled; it was hard to not appreciate the little things he did for her. Granted, they mostly interacted as though they were brother and sister, but every so often, Spike would treat her like she was his own mother, a feeling that made her happier than any other.

"Thank you, Spike," Twilight said with a smile, entering the opened door.

"My pleasure, Twilight," Spike said cheerfully, then followed the mare inside.

Twilight stopped in the middle of the library, looking at the massive collection of books. She had entered her library hundreds of times at the very least, yet those feelings of grandeur never went away. There was something mystical about living in a library; it felt as though she had her nose constantly inside the pages of a book, smelling the aged pages and ink. The worn book bindings were often in need of repair from her hours, if not days of her eyes and mind into them. It was a feeling she loved, but if there was one more feeling she loved even more than that-

"Hey, got some more books back Twi!"

-it was that. Spike's words made the already plastered smile on the purple unicorn's face grow in size as she watched her assistant begin to rummage through them. Whenever a book was checked out, it made her somewhat saddened to see it go. Of course it would return -- nopony in Ponyville would be so low as to steal a book -- but that meant she couldn't read it until it came back.

"Let's see what we got back. 'My First Magic Spell', 'The Existence of Other Universes', 'The Stallion's guide to Dating', aaaaand..."

Spike paused, looking at the last book with confusion, "Huh. No title on it. You know this one, Twi?"

Twilight walked over to the baby dragon, inspecting the unknown book with a curious look. He was right; the black cover and binding had no marks on them, and showed signs of extreme age. It was a miracle it even held together. And yet... something about it felt strange to Twilight. Like she knew what it was, but at the same time had never seen the tome before. It was a thicker book -- five, maybe six inches thick at least. Out of curiosity, Twilight took the book from Spike and opened the page using her magic.

The instant her magic touched the book, she felt a cold shiver run down her back. Her legs shook, and her teeth clattered. The feeling spread throughout her entire body as the book hovered in front of her face. If she had not just been outside moments ago, she would have assumed it a mild weather change. But it clearly wasn't that, and when she opened the cover she felt her hooves go numb. It felt as though her body was trying to warn her, to signal her to stop what she was doing, but her mind said otherwise. It said to open the book, to read it, and to never let it leave her side.

Spike took immediate notice to the change in Twilight's physical motions. The shivering and chattering confused him the most; it wasn't even cold in the library.

"Twi, you ok? You cold or somethin'?" Spike asked, frightened yet concerned for his mentor.

Twilight broke her gaze from the book suddenly, as though she just realized that Spike was in the room with her. Closing it, she looked to Spike, "Yea, it was just a weird feeling. I'm alright, in fact I think I'll take this book up to my room with me and figure out what it is."

Before Spike could respond, the mare turned around and quickly hurried up the stairs, the large black book hovering alongside her; where Twilight felt it should- no, needed to be. She couldn't let the book get away from her... but why? She didn't even recognize the book. It was hardly the feeling she normally had upon holding a new book -- this feeling was more compulsion than curiosity. Something wasn't right with this book, that much was true, but before she could think any more on the subject, her mind was filled with a desire to do nothing but sit in the sanctum and read.

Downstairs, Spike scratched his head, left confused by the events that just took place. She was acting funny, though that could be from earlier with Kurt. Then again, he was all too familiar with her love of reading. Knowing that it annoyed her to be disturbed while reading, he thought nothing more of it as he began to replace the newly returned books to their rightful places.